Trailer: Battleship (Yes, the Board Game, Battleship)
We were all more than likely a little stunned when we first heard the news that Universal Studios would be adapting the Milton Bradley board game, Battleship, into a film.
After viewing the brand new trailer for the film, we're just as perplexed:
The film will revolve around a battle between a US Navy fleet and an alien race known as the "Regents", who come to Earth on a mission to build a power source in the ocean. Things go awry when they encounter the humans, and engage in a "dynamic" and "intense" battle.
As you can tell, there will also be, for some reason, a romance between Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker, who happens to be the daughter of Liam Neeson (who will unfortunately force me to watch this when it hits theaters), who is also Kitsch's commanding officer. Kitsch plays a great officer who doesn't give a shit. Rihanna also stars in the movie for pretty much no reason at all, as does Eric from True Blood (Alexander Skarsgard).
Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights, The Rundown, Hancock) continues his tailspin into mini-Michael Bay territory in the director's chair of the film.
The film is quite literally a game of battleship. The audience will reportedly be told "both sides" of the story, from the point of view of the humans and the aliens, in order to see where the ships of each fleet are positioned.
As of this writing we have no idea what the aliens will look like, but they've been described as spider-like creatures.
To be honest, I have to say that I'm on the fence about the whole thing. Liam Neeson has a tendency to do a terrible movie every couple of years, so this could definitely be filling his quota. He's sort of like a better, Irish version of Dennis Quaid, who tends to make terrible movies more bearable while he's on screen. It also seems like it might be a good popcorn flick, along the lines of the first G.I. Joe movie or, hell, the Transformers series as well -- and it definitely seems like the cinematography and script were ripped right out of those movies anyway. Maybe even a B-movie.
But a b-movie doesn't come with a $200 million budget. It seems like this movie is going to take itself way too series, kind of like Battle L.A. did earlier this year. A useless venture that uses the guise of a board game that has little to nothing to do with the actual movie in order to create hype.
If this wasn't based on a board game from my childhood for no reason, I might give it a chance. But the fact that it goes to great lengths in order to piss me off and not only rip off movies, but draw me in with things from my childhood just for the sake of marketing, I've already decided that I'm going to have preconceptions about "Battleship".
Even James Cameron thinks this is going to be terrible.
You can waste your money on "Battleship" on May 12, 2012.