Brooklyn Nine-Nine S01E18 Recap: "The Apartment"

This week on Brooklyn Nine-Nine: self-evaluations, hair and the elusive rent-controlled apartment.

Don’t you hate it when you call someone in authority Dad by mistake? Let me rephrase that: remember when you used to accidentally call people Mom or Dad? I feel like the last time I did that was when I was 13, and that’s being generous. But if we know anything about Jake Peralta, he is 20 years behind developmentally. However, if this fact had not occurred to you yet (What show have YOU been watching?) it is made abundantly clear in The Apartment.

After being razzed a bit for calling Captain Holt ‘Dad’, Jake and the rest of the squad are informed they will have to give self-evaluations to Holt and Jeffords. Jake of course blows this off because irresponsibility is his main characteristic. He’s only left himself a few hours to pull together enough money to buy his grandma’s apartment, in which he and Gina grew up.

How has it never come up that they were childhood friends? I would have appreciated a little quip like “I don’t ever mention it because I’m embarrassed to be associated with him/her.” Something.

Because Jake cannot handle his money, he could not get approval for a bank loan. So he resorts to using a shady loan-shark, who Gina brilliantly compared to Ursula from Little Mermaid. Felt strange that he had Jake fill in paperwork- from my experience with loan-sharks (which is limited to their depiction on screen), they don’t keep a paper trail because their business is illegal. This guy was more comparable to a Money Tree but without the fake glean of legitimacy.

Anyway, while Jake is all but shaking loose change from his massage chairs Diaz decides to seek revenge on her desk mate’s use of their desk as a shave-station. Boyle ingeniously suggest filling the desk-mate’s locker with shaving cream and hair (Get it? Because those are things to do with shaving. Sadly, it took me a while to fully grasp that.). Well, turns out desk-mate could win a shit-life-of-the-year award what with a pill-popping wife, a dead dog and a tumor. Oops.

Meanwhile on the Grandma’s apartment front, apparently Gina hasn’t spent all her money on leotards and trips to Atlantic City because she offers to buy Jake’s apartment. After rejecting her offer on the grounds of her being more grownup than him, Peralta finally concedes.

Before this Holt asked Santiago only one question in her self-evalution: “What is your greatest flaw?” which of course makes her self-implode. After giving the attribute-as-flaw answer, she wracks her brain until she asks Peralta what Holt would want to hear and he responds: “who cares what Holt think.” Which of course clarifies her neediness for Holt’s approval and becomes her answer.

Blah. So transparent. Wake me up when these ‘revelations’ become interesting. Santiago cares too much about Holt’s opinion, Jake is a man-child – I complain about the monotony but will it ever change? The reason people watch sitcoms is because they can rely on the characters to never change right? The character transformation is April Ludgate on Parks and Recreation- she began to care about public service- which is lovely. Too bad the show has probably already jumped the shark.

Having said all that, The Apartment was pretty good all things considered: the bit about calling Holt dad, Diaz and Boyle becoming friends and the story arc in general- these were all good. Just not great.

Notes & Quotes
• After Jake calls Holt Dad “I believe you-“ “Thank you.” “-son. You wanna talk about it later over a game of catch.” “I’d like that.”
• “[…] We didn’t have fathers because- Divorce.” “Peralta, I will not give you a cool half mil because you had a slightly sad childhood.”
• Boyle gave his desk mate a giant spoon for some reason. No explanation just- 'we give each other gifts'. So weird, so good.
• Jake: “Can I interest you in an ice cold fowty?”
• Scully sweating and shaking was so good. I think I love Scully with the opera and the nerves- can he be my dad?
• Shaving cream hair in Boyle’s eye. Classic slapstick.
• “Ew, a real-estate opportunity?” Agreed. That is a gross sentence.
• Holt drinking his soup out the bowl is the perfect way to end an episode.

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Comment 1
George Prax's picture

This episode is 1000x cuter when you realize that Andy Samberg and Chelsea Peretti were childhood friends in real life.